First he put you into that stock mutual fund right before the January selloff and didn’t have the decency to even return your calls:

Now you discover that hedge fund he got you into won’t let you out for years. From the Wall Street Journal:

With the markets sputtering, some high-profile hedge funds are rejecting withdrawal requests, with some telling investors that it could be years before they will see all their cash again. And it isn’t just big institutions and the wealthy that are getting rebuffed. Some smaller investors who took advantage of lower minimum investments by putting their cash into so-called funds of funds, which invest in numerous hedge funds, are also getting blocked.

It’s almost enough to inspire the, “Audacity of Hopelessness” (hat tip, Barry):

GORLOCK!!!

Sources:
Dow Drop
The Colbert Report
Comedy Central

Hedge Funds Make It Hard To Say Goodbye
Gregory Zuckerman
The Wall Street Journal

The Word – The Audacity Of Hopelessness
The Colbert Report
Comedy Central